WALL CRAWING

Also Known As:
Wall Running, Super Cling, Stickie Fingies

Prime examples:
Nightcrawler, Spider-Man

Description:
Wall Crawling is the ability were a person is able to climb up walls or across ceilings in defiance of god and the laws of gravity. While not particularly useful as a standalone power, this ability is best used in conjunction with other powers. If you were unlucky enough to only obtain the wall crawling ability in your quest for Super Hero awesomeness, best go join the circus instead and forget the heroic bad ass shit before your get yourself broken. Just remember, no matter how high you climb, you have to come down at some point. Note that pissing on your opponents from high on the wall is also not advised.  You can bet they’ll wait for you.

Associated Powers:

• Low Blood Pressure - Hanging in all sorts of gravity defying positions would be nearly impossible if the blood rushing to your head made you pass out instantly.

• Gross clammy Sticky Hands/Feet - Not really so much an associated power as an unfortunate by-product. However, if something needs to be made incredibly moist or slimy, you’re all set.
  
  
• Excellent Pranking - Nothing like a roommate who thinks he’s all alone only to have you drop down and surprise him.  Warning: Depending on the act, this may backfire.

Obtaining Wall Crawling**:
Some are born with it, some are infected with the power through bites/stings like a hyper STD. Through extensive research and multiple trial and error subjects, we we have found a method of installing the superpower on willing participants. If the gravity defying world of wall crawling appeals to you, follow these 8 easy steps and you’ll be clinging to walls like a man bug in no time.

1. Buy 4 large cleaning buckets.
2. Buy 10 bottles of glue„ A lint remover roll, 6 bottles maple syrup, 1 gallon gasoline, 5 lbs dry ice,   3 gallons nail polish remover, 4 bottles of vinegar and 10 lemons (for scent).
3. Mix and dissolve all the above ingredients and distribute among the 4 buckets.
4. Wash your hands and feet very thoroughly with hot (not warm) water. Clean with soap and let air dry.
5. Soak your hands and feet in the mixture with one limb per bucket. Let it marinate for 9 days. (note: You will need a personal assistant to collect your waste, bath you and feed you during this time period or you will surely die)
6. After the 9th day of soaking, Remove your limbs from the buckets and observe
7. Your hands and feet will now be dissolved into gelatinous ball like globs that resemble big sticky Q-tips. They will also smell like lemonade!
8. Give your nerve endings a few days to ease into putting pressure on your new liquefied appendages. After a few days of air dry, you will be ready to cling and stick to surfaces like the Arachnid Man himself!

Stay tuned for more entries of the Superpower Encyclopedia!

-Joey

PS - LOLJK has a facebook fan page! We even have a twitter! @LOLjoeyANDkyle. Fucking official right!?

[** - Don’t actually do this. seriously. Even though it would be way awesome]