by Kyle

WWII.
THE war. 
The war to end all wars.  During one of the darkest times in modern history, we pulled together as a country. And with the rest of the world we fought against German-led Axis Forces.  It’s the war children are probably most taught about in school. And its the one war that as a nation we can all look back upon fondly and say, “Yea. We got into that for all the right reasons.”  It’s atrocities are some of the worst ever seen on a global scale.  And the bravery demonstrated by those who fought for freedom and lost their lives will always be remembered.

It was a rare dark and rainy day in LA today.  So instead of venturing forth and doing all the things I had planned to do on my day off, I decided my time would be better spent by playing Bioshock 2 and watching “Band of Brothers” on demand.  And this got me thinking, “would I make it out of WWII alive?” And after a minute of deliberation, I came to the conclusion:

I WOULD HAVE DIED IN WORLD WAR II

There more than a few reasons for this…

1) I’m a Pussy
At least, when it comes to war. And death.  Yea. Death scares the bejesus out of me. So there’s absolutely no way I could stay sane if my job exclusively involved me being shot at (or potentially shot at) for a span of days, months, or years at a time.

2) For once my ruggedly good looks and boyish charm can’t save me
These are the two ultimate weapons in the Kyle McVey armory.  Any person that has fallen victim to them would readily agree.  Needless to say, I’m not renowned for my brute strength or brilliant tactical mind…

…or come to think of it…my ruggedly good looks or boyish charm. Damn.

3) I would be that guy that gets shot in the ass
In every war movie there comes a time when they need that one moment of comic relief.  And that usually means a soldier gets shot in the ass.  I would be that solider.

I would be shot in the ass while storming Normandy. Days later, word would come down that the wound was enough to send me home.  I would spent weeks in recovery in a med camp. And as they’re loading me onto the plane to go home, I would be shot by a sniper. 

4) Blonde hair and blue eyes = Target for Friendly Fire
I would wear my helmet at all times. Or dye my hair.  And under no circumstances would I put my high school German knowledge to use. Doesn’t matter though. A bullet would find its way into my brain one way or another.

5) Halo has ruined my sense of strategy
I love Halo as much as the next person.  And yes, there is a basic strategy involved.  But…really it comes down to who can pump the most rounds into the other person as you run towards each other.  Not the best way to not die in real life.

6) I am not Captain America
Obviously.


But who is?