By Joey

This is how I imagine a typical workday for Kyle McVey goes:

7:30 AM - Wake up and wonder what Joey’s up to.
7:32 AM - Shower / Shave / I bet Joey’s doing this now too. He’s great.
7:50 AM - Sit down to eat breakfast and read the morning Gazette.
8:15 AM - Check my email to see if Joey has sent any updates.
9:00 AM - Arrive at work and hurry to my computer to see if Joey has emailed me. Nope still nothin’
9:10 AM - Start hating my job.
9:11 AM - Start reading blogs about comics, movies and games. Nothing awesome enough to send to Joey yet.
10:23 AM - Bathroom Break
10:24 AM - Continue reading about comics, movies and games. Look for something to send to Joey.
11:55 AM - Take off for lunch 5 minutes early.
12:20 PM - Step in horse shit on the way to the trash can.
12:21 PM - Wipe horse shit on office floormat and don’t say anything.
12:22 PM - Wait behind a desk for someone else to step in the shit.
12:35 PM - Bingo.
12:36 PM - Back at the desk. Figure it’s best to edit something since the show’s due in 5 hours.
12:38 PM - Finish editing the whole show.
12:55 PM - Realize I just blacked out for the last 17 minutes and no one noticed.
12:56 PM - Decide to take a nap sitting up.
2:00 PM - Wake up and hopes no ones noticed the afternoon wood.
2:01 PM - How could they not?
2:02 PM - Man I hope they noticed.
2:02 PM - ladies…
2:10 PM - Check on the horse shit and laugh at all the footprints surrounding it.  The lobby now smells terrible.
2:15 PM - Stops at payroll to see if checks are ready. They yell and say checks only come in friday “for the hundredth fucking time”… Jerks.
2:16 PM - Back at the desk - Still no emails from Joey, but he is online. I bet i’ll get something soon.
2:22 PM - Still Nothing
2:26 PM - Still Nothing. I’m going to call. Nah. Better not. Play it cool.
2:27 PM - Still Nothing.
2:30 PM - Message from JOEY!  Hooray the day is now better! He’s asking when I’ll post my entry!
2:30 PM - “Soon, i’m almost done!”  
2:30 PM - Make mental note to start my blog post somtime soon. Tonight…tomorrow…next week.
2:36 PM - Post a rap quote on my wall and use slang terms for woman.  Baby BAYBeehh!
2:45 PM - Boss Comes in. Look busy.
2:46 PM - Boss is gone. Back too..
2:46 PM - Oh shit boss is back.  I’m so busy editing.
2:59 PM - Why won’t he leave?
3:30 PM - Boss finally left. Kept dropping subtle hints about “internet activity monitoring” and “inappropriate use of company time” and “kyle, you need to stop looking at this stuff at work”.  It was very subtle. Hopefully he wasn’t talking about me.
3:31 PM - Sneak out of the office to find more horse shit for the lobby because that was way funny.
3:43 PM - Hot Co-worker chick just saw me pick up Horse shit. Great…
3:45 PM - Don’t think my arugment of “I thought it was a candy bar” worked. She dry heaved and left.
3:50 PM - Washed shit off hands.
3:51 PM - Thought I saw a candy bar and almost picked up the shit again.
4:00 PM - 1 more hour. Better recheck the show before it’s due.
4:01 PM - HOLY FUCK. MASSIVE FUCKING MISTAKE IN THE SHOW. I need to produce a new package and get the show re-edited, re-mixed and conformed all before the due time!!!!!! AHHH!H#%*()#
4:05 PM - Show’s fixed.
4:06 PM - That girl just walked by, I waved at her and realized I still had shit on my hand.
4:06 PM - My keyboard is covered in shit.
4:07 PM - Switched keyboards with neighbor.
4:08 PM - Waited behind cubical wall for him to get back.
4:50 PM - Apparently cubical neighbor was out sick today.
5:00 PM - Pack up and go home.
5:02 PM - Step in Lobby shit on the way to the car. Thanks past kyle.
6:00 PM - Arrive at home and wonder what Joey’s up to.
6:05 PM - Change out of work clothes and open secret compartment in my closet that leads to my Joey Shrine.
6:09 PM - Add the couple loose hairs and skin flakes I gathered at Joey’s house over the weekend to my replica Joey. The Cow eyes are are a poor substitute for Joey’s beautiful peeps. Make mental note to replace with Human eyes.
6:12 PM - Wheel Joey Replica out to living room for our night of TV viewing!
6:30 PM - Prepare Dinner!
7:20 PM - Dozed off in DoppleJoey’s Arms.  Wake up Just in time for Jeopardy!
9:00 PM - Lost!
10:00 PM - Put DoppleJoey back in hidden room and tuck myself in.
10:05 PM - Good night Joey I whisper as I drift off to dreamland.

Yeah. That seems about right.

-Joey

Twitter @LOLjoeyANDkyle @jreinisch @destructobox