An Open Letter to Every Girl Kyle has Known in Indiana

by Tom Petty

I know, I know. I’ve denied it for a long time. And for a while I felt like I was hiding it pretty well.  But yes, it is true. 
Women of the great state of Indiana, all of my songs are about you.  Not all of you.  Just YOU. I know you’ve had your suspicions ever since the first time you heard the opening lyrics to “Mary Jane’s Last Dance.”  Oh sure! Some have claimed the whole song is just one giant metaphor for drug use.   What with Mary Jane also being a common slang term for marijuana.  Which I’m sure the humble Midwestern ladies of Indiana wouldn’t know anything about….eh? Haha.

I’m a charmer, I know. 

But I’m telling you right here, right now, that song is about you specifically.  The whole song is most certainly a metaphor.  For you and a love lost.  A bittersweet goodbye between two star crossed lovers who know that their time together is limited and soon to expire.  Its a sad, very generic life experience that we have all had at one point or another and a scenario anyone could easily place themselves into.  But I was definitely talking specifically about that time at summer camp where you had a fling with Jack Flannery in 6th grade. Remember? He was the first guy you let feel your boobs? Yeeeeea. That was pretty awesome.

What about “American Girl?” Yea.  I know it’s not as explicit, but I’m telling you right now. It’s about you too.  After all, Indiana is the “Crossroads of America.” So you tell me what place would better exemplify the free wheelin’ spirit and thirst for freedom that America thrives on better than the Hoosier state? You’re God damn right.  None of them. And you are THE American girl! Tell your friends!  “Free Fallin’?” Yep. That’s you too.  I know you love your momma, and I remember how you went to bible study every Sunday when you were in grade school. Oddly enough you never cared much for Elvis, I just thought I’d throw that in there.  I took liberties. I’m an artist after all.
Even songs that you think would be totally unrelated to you are about you! “Won’t Back Down” is essentially my own personal sequel to Gloria Gayner’s “I Will Survive.”  And my personal song of inspiration to you.  You don’t need your cheating ass ex! And you don’t need your boss Becky’s bitchy attitude and constant insults that are thinly veiled as “constructive criticism.” Telling you that using “lates” as a sign off in an e-mail to a client makes the whole company look unprofessional is a bit of an embellishment. I’ll tell you what she can do.  She can go ahead and sit on it!

Wait. What are you kids saying nowadays? Ah. I mean, she can fuck off!

Pay no mind that most of these songs were more than likely written before you were born or had any actual life experiences that you can remember. Let alone ones that helped shape your life.  No. Fret not.  For I always knew you. I was there when you were but a glimmer in your mother’s eye, when you were almost just spend seed after your father finally got a moment alone from his yappy wife, when you were a breech birth in Riverview Hospital.

Yes. I always knew you. And just wanted you to know that my whole career and catalog has been devoted to one person. YOU.

Keep on rocking in the free world,

Wait…that’s not me….er

Remember, you don’t have to live like a refugee,

No. WAIT! This is better.

Make sure you’re always stepping towards that “great wide open”,

TP

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Kyle
Twitter @kamcvey @LOLjoeyANDkyle @mooncounty